First off, I’d like to thank each and every one of you who reached out after the last two posts. It really means a lot to me to have so many caring and lovable souls not only reading the words I write, but supporting me along the way. It was a very rough time I went through, but your encouragement and kindness helped brighten the dark cloud I was under and I wish I could give you all a hug for that. Though I did take an absence from the blogosphere, I am doing immensely better and look forward to diving back into Defining Wonderland. What’s that knocking on my door? Must be acceptance.
For the Spirit:
When you find yourself single, the world suddenly becomes your oyster. Your once busy schedule of dates, weekend trips to see your significant other, and “couple time” becomes open and you can say “yes” to new and exciting plans you might have otherwise passed up.
In my plan to keep busy to heal my heartbreak, I accepted countless invitations. I took a day trip to San Diego to attend the horse races at the Del Mar Race Track, saw three concerts at the county fair, and joined a Friday happy hour group at work, each opportunity a chance to reconnect with long-lost friends and meet some new ones. Now that my vacation days no longer include seven-hour drives, I find myself being able to plan longer holidays that require passports and plane trips. That’s right, I have not one, but two international adventures in the works, one to be taken before the year is up. Now, it’s just a matter of waiting for my new passport to be delivered. Not that I’ll need one for trips to Santa Cruz and Disneyland that are in my foreseeable future.
For the Body:
Most chick flicks and sitcoms will have you believe that women automatically turn to tubs of Ben & Jerry’s and raw cookie dough to numb the pain of a breakup. That has never been the case with me and this situation was no different. Instead of overindulging in comfort food and too many cocktails that make it all too likely that a drunken text is going to be sent, I threw myself into a new workout activity: running.
Four or five nights a week, I walk on over to my mom’s house, greet Jake with a couple of kisses, and then hop on the treadmill. After over a month, I’ve already seen improvement. For one, I cut my mile time down by two minutes since I began. And if that weren’t enough, I’m now running a minimum of two miles each session. For someone who always preferred aerobics classes to time on a treadmill, I consider this a huge accomplishment. I never thought I would be able to jog for over a mile without stopping and I’m slowly working on adding more distance and cutting my time even more. After all, I’ve got a Color Run coming up in October.
For the Soul:
I don’t know about you, but after a breakup, I go through several different emotional states. Much like the Five Stages of Grief, I transition through each condition at my own pace and the order varies based on the particular circumstances of the relationship and how/why it ended. Regardless of when I blame myself, get angry at my ex, or accept that we were just not meant to be, I always complete my cycle with a renewed sense of love for the one person I can never live without: me.
While some people may walk away from breakups feeling like a failure or that no one will ever love the wonderful weirdo that they are, I find a new appreciation for the person I am and what I have to give. It’s strange that my confidence level rises exponentially when someone no longer wishes to be with me, but I find that it’s better to roll with it rather than question it. Besides, shouldn’t we completely love and value ourselves? I am a remarkable person and so are each of you. Don’t wait for a breakup to look in the mirror and marvel at the unique and awesome individual you are.
And don’t ever forget it.