It seems that the universe is trying to send me a message. This last week, a particular theme has popped up one too many times to be considered coincidental and it’s begging me to take notice. It was in the TV shows and movies I watched. It was in the book I’m reading. It was in articles I skimmed. It was everywhere.
It was trust.
Trust, the belief that someone or something is reliable. Trust, the confidence that something or someone is good and honest. Trust, what can take years to build and moments to break.
Over the years, I have put my trust in the wrong hands. Whether it was bestowed too quickly or my not-so-great judge of character, I found myself hurt when true colors were revealed. As a result, I found it more difficult to believe in people, always questioning the words they said and their motives. As the old saying goes, “once bitten, twice shy.” Let’s just say I’ve been bitten a lot.
But before you start to think that this is going to be a maudlin post about a woman hurt so many times, she loses her ability to trust and love, have no fear. This isn’t that kind of post.
Though I have been hurt, heartbroken, and devastated by people and events, my heart has not hardened. Sure, I am a more cautious than I once was, but I have learned that you can learn to trust again. And though I have been hurt, I have also caused hurt when I broke someone else’s trust. Honestly, I think that hurting someone else was far worse than any pain I have felt when someone has let me down. It was awful and I was extremely remorseful.
Let’s face it, we’ve all been hurt and we have all hurt someone else. No one is immune to the blows that life tends to dish out and broken trust is inevitable. We trust the wrong people and we get hurt. But we recover. We learn the lessons that the pain teaches us—though it can sometimes take much longer than we would like it to—and we move on. A little stronger and a little wiser.
I had two situations this week involving trust.
The first, I found that I wasn’t quite ready to trust what was in front of me, not because it wasn’t worthy, but because I had been burned in the past. What I found when I was honest with myself and vocal about my boundaries, was a place where I felt safe and the knowledge that it was perfectly acceptable to gain my trust over time rather than just be there in an instant.
The second situation called on someone else to put their trust in me. An opportunity came up and I needed to let someone know that I was exploring other possibilities so they weren’t blind-sided if I decided to go forward. Again, I found that when I was honest about my intentions, I was commended and the bond of trust was made stronger. I was valued and recognized as someone with integrity. And that felt great.
Though I’m still not entirely sure what the universe is trying to tell me, there is something to be learned by these experiences. The lesson, my dear Wonderlings is this: trust can take time. It’s easy to proceed with blind faith, but that can pave the way for devastating results. If you take your time, you will find that there are people who are deserving of your trust.
Just don’t forget to be deserving of theirs.