Things That I Believe To Be True

What do you believe in?  What beliefs make you you?

A personal philosophy is something that everyone should have.  I’m not talking about religion.  No, personal philosophies are much more complex than that.  Not that religion isn’t important, but this isn’t a post about religion in the traditional sense.  While philosophy and religion can go hand in hand, one greatly influencing the other, there is much more to a person than religion and that is what I want to discuss.  Our experiences not only make us who we are, but inspire how we perceive situations and how we react to what happens to us.  While some beliefs may be silly, others are much stronger in molding our character and ourselves into the kind of people we want to be.

And with that said, these are some of the things that I wholeheartedly believe in. Continue reading

A History Of Father-Daughter Dates

They say that a woman’s relationship with her father sets up the course for all of her relationships with men.  It makes sense.  The first relationship with the opposite sex that a girl knows is with her dad, so it would no doubt teach her what that relationship is supposed to look like.  Unfortunately, not every father-daughter pair is a healthy one.

Many women, myself included, suffer from “daddy issues.”  These are the underlying characteristics that most people blame for a woman having screwed-up relationships with men.  They show up in the form of failure to trust, excessive flirting, eagerness to please, clinginess, and an attraction to much older men.  I should know, I’ve exhibited all of those traits at one point or another.

My relationship with my biological father ended abruptly when I was a freshman in high school.  After dealing with his alcoholic wife who began to treat me like an inconvenience rather than a member of the family, I decided to stop my every-other-weekend visits during what I still consider to be one of the worst nights of my life.  My biological father let me go.  His contact with me soon disappeared.  He believed that I should be the one to maintain the relationship; I questioned when the roles of parent and child had reversed.

The good news is, I had a spare dad.

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Escape Into The Music

How many times have we turned to music to distract ourselves from our lives?

I know that I have a time or two.  There is a playlist for sad times and happy times, working tunes and mellows songs.  Every genre is covered and it’s awesome that there are so many vices for each and every emotion that can come across our minds and our stereos.

Normally, I refrain from bringing my iPod into the office, but this week I have relied on the melodies to keep me grounded when I can no longer bear the reality that presents itself before me.  It is difficult to ignore the facts, but I have found my refuge.  There have been sad songs and happy songs, songs that I can sing along to and songs that I can dance to.  But most importantly, each of these songs allow me to escape the truth for the duration of the tune.

And I know I’m not the only one who needs this escape.

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This Isn’t Goodbye, But It Kind Of Is

As Mentor Spotlight Week comes to an end, I’m sure some of you are wondering why and how this particular theme came to be on Defining Wonderland.  It’s kind of an unusual choice and one I know I’ve certainly never seen before.  Showcasing the Fonz was an easy decision to make as I knew it would be a nice way to honor my mentor and share with the Wonderlings some of his insights into this crazy thing we call life.

Since the Fonz is the kind of person who has a story for everything (and I do mean everything), it is only right to end the week with the story of why I decided to start the week in the first place.

This Harry Potter quote just seemed right.

For the last five years, the Fonz has been a geographic bachelor, renting a self-proclaimed crappy apartment near work during the week and going home to his wife and sons, who live several hours away, on the weekends.  It’s a tough life of sacrifices, missing back-to-school nights and tucking children into bed, and he is not the only one in the organization who surrenders precious family time in order to support loved ones.  So, when the Fonz told me a few weeks ago that he had accepted a position closer to home where he wouldn’t need a separate place to live, I wasn’t in the least bit surprised.

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How I Became A Mento

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to Mentor Spotlight Week!

Inspired by my awesome mentor in all things, this week I will be sharing with you Wonderlings some of the Fonz’s obsessions, his words of wisdom, and maybe even a post from the man himself.  I hope you all enjoy the first themed week of Defining Wonderland.

But before we begin with Mentor Spotlight Week, let me tell you about the beginning of our mentorship.

When I started at my job four years ago, the Fonz was one of the people I had to check in with.  Being escorted from office to office and meeting with dozens of new people, I don’t remember our first encounter.  I guess it’s good that he at least didn’t make a bad first impression.

The Most Interesting Mentor in the World.

My desk was situated outside of the business director’s office and the Fonz, being another manager, would frequently meet with the business director.  Over time, our small pleasantries turned into sarcastic conversations about anything and everything.  This was a man who not only got my sick sense of humor, but had one even more twisted than my own.  Also, he could keep up on the pop culture references with an impressive knowledge of movies, music, and television shows.  He thinks he’s the white Shaft for crying out loud!  After a lengthy conversation about The Rocky Horror Picture Show, I suggested that he show up at the building Halloween party dressed as Dr. Frank-N-Furter.  Luckily, he didn’t take me up on my suggestion.  That would have just been wrong.  So, so wrong.

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Call Me Grateful

Sometimes, I find myself dwelling on the negatives in my life and all the things I wish were different.  It can be easy to get wrapped up in imagining your life forever changed if just this or that were different.  I’m sure I would be happier if I earned more money.  I think I would find my soul mate if I lost a few pounds.  My life would begin if I got the chance to start over someplace new.  These are the kinds of thoughts that eat away at the very core of your happiness.

A little perspective.

I’ve been noticing lately that my posts have been on the down side.  I did not create this blog to wax on about every little thing that bothers me or how mopey I feel, especially because I’m a pretty happy person 99% of the time.  Those aren’t the kind of words I like to read, so why on earth have I been writing them?

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“Did I Really Earn This Or Did I Just Wear You All Down?”

When Sandra Bullock won her Academy Award for The Blind Side, she gave a speech that was thoughtful, moving, and humble.  She radiated grace and everyone was thrilled that America’s sweetheart had finally won the accolades she deserved.  I am not quite as graceful when it comes to recognition.  My inner self breaks out into a happy dance and shouts, “I won!  I won!  I won!”  So when I received my second award in three weeks, I just about embarrassed myself at work when I squealed with delight.  Thankfully, no one was around to witness it.

The Oscar of the blogging world?

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You Like Me, You Really Like Me!

As many of my darling readers know, this is the first blog that I have ever felt gave me any kind of purpose and I have been so encouraged by the comments I have received and inspired by the blogs I follow.  A writer for life, I rarely share my work with people, but through WordPress, I have found that I should have been doing this a long, long time ago.  I love knowing that my words have reached dozens of countries around the world.  Simply put, I can’t stop now!

Today I received some fantastic news that has me grinning like a Cheshire Cat.  I have been awarded my first blogging honor by the fabulous folks at Mother Sugar.

*squeal*

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Savoring The Simple Joys

I’ve always been a big believer in the phrase, “It’s the little things in life…”  There are so many tidbits that can bring a smile to my face and I strive to relish the common pleasures that are all around.  I have been known to break out in a huge grin—or just a happy dance—at the sight of a friendly animal, package on my doorstep, or laughing baby.  Here are some of the little things that make me happy. Continue reading