It seems that the universe is trying to send me a message. This last week, a particular theme has popped up one too many times to be considered coincidental and it’s begging me to take notice. It was in the TV shows and movies I watched. It was in the book I’m reading. It was in articles I skimmed. It was everywhere.
It was trust.
Photo Credit: http://www.inspiringquotesonlife.blogspot.com
**If you haven’t entered the latest Wonderland Giveaway, I am extending it another week. I will be announcing a winner next week. Check this post for details. Good luck!**
Fear exists in all of us. Every day, we are confronted with a dozen things that scare us. Maybe it’s the spider scurrying across the floor or the darkened room after the light has faded or the rejection if a first move is made on a date. There is a lot in this world that is utterly terrifying, but let me tell you a little secret, fear is a learned behavior.
That’s right, we learn to be afraid.
There are only two natural fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. It’s true. I forget where I learned this little tidbit, but I do remember raising my hand to answer the question about a natural fear in a school assembly when I was a prepubescent girl. Don’t believe me? You can test it out on any infant. When a baby thinks it’s falling, it will grasp for something to hold onto. When there is a sudden, loud noise, a baby will jump. Babies aren’t afraid of fire or small spaces or animals. The only thing that has been inherently passed down through generation and generation is fear of falling.
This is a story about love. It is not a love story.
Ten years ago I met a man. He was a friend of a guy I dated, the first guy to ever break my heart. Through many group outings, my boyfriend’s friend became my friend too. Despite a shared love of goth culture and music, he was completely different from my boyfriend in a thousand awesomely wonderful ways. He was funny and sweet and I genuinely enjoyed his company, sharing inside jokes about his harem of women (I was jokingly the “Thursday Night Girl”) and spending one-on-one time with him to dye his blonde hair black or to talk on the beach.
I didn’t know then just how important he would become to me.
Foreword: This is probably the most self-serving post I have ever written, but I hope that it helps at least someone who may, like me, be going through a difficult time.
Thousands of movies, novels, and news stories show us that life is not always a fairy tale. There are hiccups and bumps along this road and some of them can completely devastate you. Everyone goes through hard times. The most common theme is loss. We lose family members, jobs, and spouses. It’s painful and we may become unresponsive zombies in the wake of the overwhelming grief. Tears are shed and hearts are broken during these periods of wallowing. So, how do you deal with an emotional tailspin? Here are some hopefully helpful tips to get you through the days where even breathing is difficult.
If they don’t work, there’s always tequila and cookie dough.
How many of us huddled together on the playground and cupped our hands over a friend’s ear to whisper hidden words that we had never uttered before? We shared our innermost thoughts and dreams to our pals after they pinky promised to “never tell anyone so long as I live.” Perhaps we divulged our feelings for a classmate or confessed to something embarrassing. Whatever the reason, we decided to unleash the truth and almost immediately felt a weight had been lifted. There’s a reason websites like PostSecret are so popular. People need to let it out, to ease the burden of secret keeping and be honest, if not with others than with themselves.
As adults, we all keep secrets. It’s just the way it is. Some people hide feelings about their best friend’s spouse or what they did last Saturday night. Health conditions, past mistakes, and relationships are concealed under the cloaks of omission and lies. We portray rosy dispositions when we may be struggling with something that gnaws at our emotional core, but that we feel we must keep to ourselves.
We hide parts of our lives from those around us for so many reasons. We’re afraid of how people will react to the truth or how their opinions of our character will be changed once the secret is out. We worry that people won’t understand the truth or how/why we’ve tried to protect them from it. Maybe we’re even a little ashamed.
Every now and again, we are bound to go through times that make us question everything we know to be and everything we know we are. They may be the result of a major-life change. They may be due to a tragic loss. They could exist during stressful moments. They could be caused by a hormone imbalance. Regardless, no matter how dark the days seem, there is bound to be light at the end of the tunnel.
In order to endure through these difficult and often depressing periods, one must hold tight to a very special thing: a happy place.
According to Urban Dictionary, a happy place is “The mental state achieved when one wants to avoid the unpleasant or uncomfortable. Everyone’s happy place is different, and usually consists of the things that make them joyous.” It’s what gives us the “warm fuzzies” when we are feeling blue.
Do you know where yours is?
Even with a compass and map, your happy place can be hard to find.
How many times have we turned to music to distract ourselves from our lives?
I know that I have a time or two. There is a playlist for sad times and happy times, working tunes and mellows songs. Every genre is covered and it’s awesome that there are so many vices for each and every emotion that can come across our minds and our stereos.
Normally, I refrain from bringing my iPod into the office, but this week I have relied on the melodies to keep me grounded when I can no longer bear the reality that presents itself before me. It is difficult to ignore the facts, but I have found my refuge. There have been sad songs and happy songs, songs that I can sing along to and songs that I can dance to. But most importantly, each of these songs allow me to escape the truth for the duration of the tune.
And I know I’m not the only one who needs this escape.
Defining Wonderland 