As I’ve written about before, my dad and I like to go out and do things together. Over the years, we’ve chuckled at plays, giddy-upped on horseback, and felt the wind on our faces while exiting a plane at 13,ooo feet. We always have a good time, just the two of us. So, when Father’s Day rolled around, I knew exactly what I wanted to get him: an evening of murder and mystery. The fact that I checked off #11 on my 30-Before-30 list was just an added bonus.
They say that a woman’s relationship with her father sets up the course for all of her relationships with men. It makes sense. The first relationship with the opposite sex that a girl knows is with her dad, so it would no doubt teach her what that relationship is supposed to look like. Unfortunately, not every father-daughter pair is a healthy one.
Many women, myself included, suffer from “daddy issues.” These are the underlying characteristics that most people blame for a woman having screwed-up relationships with men. They show up in the form of failure to trust, excessive flirting, eagerness to please, clinginess, and an attraction to much older men. I should know, I’ve exhibited all of those traits at one point or another.
My relationship with my biological father ended abruptly when I was a freshman in high school. After dealing with his alcoholic wife who began to treat me like an inconvenience rather than a member of the family, I decided to stop my every-other-weekend visits during what I still consider to be one of the worst nights of my life. My biological father let me go. His contact with me soon disappeared. He believed that I should be the one to maintain the relationship; I questioned when the roles of parent and child had reversed.
The good news is, I had a spare dad.