This Isn’t Goodbye, But It Kind Of Is

As Mentor Spotlight Week comes to an end, I’m sure some of you are wondering why and how this particular theme came to be on Defining Wonderland.  It’s kind of an unusual choice and one I know I’ve certainly never seen before.  Showcasing the Fonz was an easy decision to make as I knew it would be a nice way to honor my mentor and share with the Wonderlings some of his insights into this crazy thing we call life.

Since the Fonz is the kind of person who has a story for everything (and I do mean everything), it is only right to end the week with the story of why I decided to start the week in the first place.

This Harry Potter quote just seemed right.

For the last five years, the Fonz has been a geographic bachelor, renting a self-proclaimed crappy apartment near work during the week and going home to his wife and sons, who live several hours away, on the weekends.  It’s a tough life of sacrifices, missing back-to-school nights and tucking children into bed, and he is not the only one in the organization who surrenders precious family time in order to support loved ones.  So, when the Fonz told me a few weeks ago that he had accepted a position closer to home where he wouldn’t need a separate place to live, I wasn’t in the least bit surprised.

Continue reading

Dudes Do And Dudes Don’t

After yesterday’s post, we all know the characteristics that define a Dude.

Dudes cover the ‘do. The Fonz, circa 1990’s.

Now, we get into specific behaviors.  We already understand that “Dudes don’t zumba” and “Dudes dig boobs,” but there is so much more to learn about this strange code of Dudeism.  Day 4 of Mentor Spotlight Week explores some of the rules of Dudeism.

Dudes don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy, The Bachelor(ette), or chick flicks unless they are trying to get laid.

I cannot begin to tell you how many times I’ve referenced a show or movie and the Fonz rolls his eyes at me with that undeniable look that screams, “Oh dear God, why is my Mento a chick?”  He practically kicked me out of his office when I told him that I was attending the midnight showing of the last Twilight film with a few of my gal pals (I swear it was their idea—I would never have offered up a midnight showing of one of those unintentionally hilarious movies).  However, according to the Dude, the only times that a Dude will subject himself to watching an episode of Real Housewives of any given city is because he has one thing on the brain: getting into your pants.  Apparently, Dudes will subject themselves to just about anything if they think they have a shot at getting laid.  Unfortunately, once a Dude is having sex on a regular basis has secured a mate, you can expect to see his willingness to indulge in a Meg Ryan marathon severely diminished.

Continue reading

Introduction to Dudeism

Never having been a guy, I don’t know the first thing about being a Dude.  I was born a female and I am quite content to remain a female.  Though, I would be lying if I told you all that I didn’t wonder about the male species and why they do the things they do.  After many conversations with the Fonz about that very subject, I have gained some knowledge when it comes to the opposite sex.  However, there is still so much to learn.

Which is why today’s post is a learning opportunity.  The Fonz takes over for Day 3 of Mentor Spotlight Week so that he can educate us all on a specific class of men: Dudes.  So without further delay, I give you the Dude himself.

Continue reading

For The Love Of Bacon

Mentor Spotlight Week continues with a story of a man’s true love.

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, a pig was born on a farm.  That little porker grew up to be big and strong.  He lived a wonderful life eating from his trough until one day, the farmer came along and decided it was time for the pig to fulfill its purpose.  It was time for the pig to be eaten.

Not long after the pig had been sold to the butcher and packaged into pairs of pork chops and pounds of thin strips, a young boy had a piece of bacon for the very first time.  His life would never be the same and a love affair with the most delicious pork product was born.

That young boy was the Fonz.

Continue reading

How I Became A Mento

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to Mentor Spotlight Week!

Inspired by my awesome mentor in all things, this week I will be sharing with you Wonderlings some of the Fonz’s obsessions, his words of wisdom, and maybe even a post from the man himself.  I hope you all enjoy the first themed week of Defining Wonderland.

But before we begin with Mentor Spotlight Week, let me tell you about the beginning of our mentorship.

When I started at my job four years ago, the Fonz was one of the people I had to check in with.  Being escorted from office to office and meeting with dozens of new people, I don’t remember our first encounter.  I guess it’s good that he at least didn’t make a bad first impression.

The Most Interesting Mentor in the World.

My desk was situated outside of the business director’s office and the Fonz, being another manager, would frequently meet with the business director.  Over time, our small pleasantries turned into sarcastic conversations about anything and everything.  This was a man who not only got my sick sense of humor, but had one even more twisted than my own.  Also, he could keep up on the pop culture references with an impressive knowledge of movies, music, and television shows.  He thinks he’s the white Shaft for crying out loud!  After a lengthy conversation about The Rocky Horror Picture Show, I suggested that he show up at the building Halloween party dressed as Dr. Frank-N-Furter.  Luckily, he didn’t take me up on my suggestion.  That would have just been wrong.  So, so wrong.

Continue reading