March 17th has finally come. A day of corned beef and cabbage, Lucky Charms, and all thing green. ‘Tis also a day to drink your socks off with various libations while the sound of bag pipes play in the background. You may not feel it now, but you’ll feel it tomorrow. I’m staying sober this year (darn those adult responsibilities of working tomorrow) and decided to make my co-workers some yummy treats for tomorrow instead of enjoying an Irish Car Bomb. Regardless of my celebratory staying home, I can still find the humor in this day.
The recent internet sensation of humorously shaming toddlers by posting a picture of the guilty child with a sign explaining what he or she did to warrant such embarrassment has spread to the animal kingdom. Makes me want to do the very same thing to Jake when he scares the crap out of the neighbors, scrapes his butt on the carpet, clears a room with his farts, drools a small lake while waiting for ice cream, begs, or… you get the picture. Enjoy!
Wonderlings, I’ve missed you and can’t wait to share with you stories from my latest European adventure. Unfortunately, I’m feeling a little under the weather (I blame the last flight from Atlanta to Los Angeles for my current sinus issues) so this will be a visual post rather than a written one. I hope you’ll forgive me and I hope you enjoy these latest funnies.
Now that you all know about the kind of fun things my dad and I do together, it is only fair to share some stories starring my mom. And this is how I stay the favorite daughter. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I’m their only daughter. That’s merely a coincidence.
Getting on with it, my mother and I are freakishly close. Have you seen Gilmore Girls? That’s nothing compared to the antics we get ourselves into. One of our favorite things to do together is travel. We have cruised through Alaska, gambled through Vegas, and hula-ed through Hawaii. My mom works in the travel industry so sweet vacations at even sweeter prices have spoiled me completely. I don’t know what we’ll going to do if she ever decides to retire.
In honor of the newest addition to the family (Nephew #3 was born last night!) and because babies are just so gosh darn funny, behold the first ever “Just Because It’s Funny” post.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to Mentor Spotlight Week!
Inspired by my awesome mentor in all things, this week I will be sharing with you Wonderlings some of the Fonz’s obsessions, his words of wisdom, and maybe even a post from the man himself. I hope you all enjoy the first themed week of Defining Wonderland.
But before we begin with Mentor Spotlight Week, let me tell you about the beginning of our mentorship.
When I started at my job four years ago, the Fonz was one of the people I had to check in with. Being escorted from office to office and meeting with dozens of new people, I don’t remember our first encounter. I guess it’s good that he at least didn’t make a bad first impression.
My desk was situated outside of the business director’s office and the Fonz, being another manager, would frequently meet with the business director. Over time, our small pleasantries turned into sarcastic conversations about anything and everything. This was a man who not only got my sick sense of humor, but had one even more twisted than my own. Also, he could keep up on the pop culture references with an impressive knowledge of movies, music, and television shows. He thinks he’s the white Shaft for crying out loud! After a lengthy conversation about The Rocky Horror Picture Show, I suggested that he show up at the building Halloween party dressed as Dr. Frank-N-Furter. Luckily, he didn’t take me up on my suggestion. That would have just been wrong. So, so wrong.
I’m sure many of you out there have heard the term “freak flag” and wondered about what the heck it could possibly mean. Is it an insult? Is it a compliment? It is anything special? Is it worthy of a blog post?
The short answer is yes.
Urban Dictionary defines freak flag—its Urban Word of the Day on March 21, 2008—as “a characteristic, mannerism, or appearance of a person, either subtle or overt, which implies unique, eccentric, creative, adventurous or unconventional thinking.”
Ok, so what does that mean?
In simplest terms, a freak flag is something that sets you apart from everyone else. Now, I’m not saying that it involves a person swinging from a chandelier or down on all fours, barking like a dog in the middle of a staff meeting. In the right context, that might work, but for the most part, those types of behaviors might land you a trip to a padded room with a jacket you can’t get out of. Rather, waving one’s freak flag might be a gesture learned from your father or an accent that you only use with your best friend. What sets these quirky acts apart is that they would not be defined as freaky if performed in private. However, once you let loose in front of other people, consider your freak flag flown.
Today has been one of those days that has reminded me of how much social networking is completely ruining human interaction and how irritating it can really be. As a self-proclaimed Facebook addict, I am ready to get up on my soapbox and share with all the Wonderlings what drives me crazy about my favorite, irritation-inducing website.
You have been a part of my life since my mother ordered your Sweatin’ to the Oldies VHS tapes so that she could work out in the living room without needing to get a baby-sitter to hit the gym. To a five-year-old me, I was eager to join her. How could I not? It looked like so much fun with the colorful outfits, the great music, and the smiles on each of the dancers’ faces. I knew every word, every song, every routine—still do. Even now more than two decades later, I still catch myself going through the exercises when I hear songs like “Locomotion,” “Big Girls Don’t Cry,” and “I Get Around” much to the embarrassment of those around me. Continue reading
Sometimes I feel that my life is just not going at the speed I want it to. I’m sure this is a familiar feeling for most people, but I find it entirely irritating, completely frustrating, and utterly annoying. I guess it all comes down to the fact that my life never goes at the speed I want it to.
You see, I am a planner. You may have gathered from my other posts that I am a fan of order and I like to know what’s what. To me, spontaneity is having 24-hours notice. I am known for staying true to my commitments—I recently had to back out of a snowboarding trip with Popeye when I found out I wouldn’t be able to make Hawkeye’s birthday festivities, an event I have never missed in the years of our friendship—no matter how much my inflexibility bothers my friends and family. I’ll stick to it. I am a Taurus born in the Year of the Ox. We’re talking extremely stubborn here.
As you can imagine, my current state of 20-something-ness is driving me crazy: I don’t know what direction my life is going and it scares the hell out of me. There are so many things that I want to do in the coming years and uncertainty does not make for easy planning.
Not that it stops other people.
I recently read an article in Marie Claire that boggled my mind. More and more women are planning their weddings without a proposal or, get this, even a man in their life. I’m sure if I was one of those chicks who dreamed of a big white wedding with every detail the epitome of perfection, I would probably be in this club. On second thought, probably not.
There are things in life that I just don’t feel ready for. At 26, I know that I am not where I would like to be to settle down and start a family. I have yet to see Greece or even owned a pet of my own. I have only been in my own place sans roommates or parents for a few years. Part of my life felt like it was put on hold as I studied in college and grad school leaving me behind in my life where so many of my peers are ahead of me in the family realm.
Of the friends that I casually keep in contact with from high school, I am the only one—the only one!—who is not in a relationship/engaged/married with/without children. Luckily for me, I am less of an abnormal statistic when it comes to my college friends. Only two of my friends from college are married, one is engaged, and none have children. Whew!
I got the fantastic news today that one of my dear friends is expecting a baby. I am completely thrilled for her because I have never known anyone who has longed to be a mother as much as she has and she’s going to be damn good at it. While telling me her glorious news, she said that she and her husband conceived after she stopped worrying about it and just let nature take its course. I only wish I could be comfortable with letting things happen that way.
People always tell me that you fall in love when you’re not expecting it. I have been single for over five years and it can be entirely unsettling to see those around you fall in love at the drop of a hat while you keep going on first date after first date hoping one of these will lead to something meaningful.
In the time that I have not been in a relationship, I have been to engagement parties, weddings, baby showers, and watched relationships buckle under life’s pressures. I’ve acted as therapist, baby-sitter, party planner, and secondary spouse and as happy as I am to celebrate in other people’s milestones, I often wonder: when will it be my turn?
And I can’t help feeling guilty about that.
I know I’m not ready to settle down in the traditional sense, but I would love to find someone who would at least want to with me and who I want to be with as well.
What can I say? It’s hard to be the last single girl.