rules – Defining Wonderland

After yesterday’s post, we all know the characteristics that define a Dude.

Dudes cover the ‘do. The Fonz, circa 1990’s.

Now, we get into specific behaviors. We already understand that “Dudes don’t zumba” and “Dudes dig boobs,” but there is so much more to learn about this strange code of Dudeism. Day 4 of Mentor Spotlight Week explores some of the rules of Dudeism.

Dudes don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy, The Bachelor(ette), or chick flicks unless they are trying to get laid.

I cannot begin to tell you how many times I’ve referenced a show or movie and the Fonz rolls his eyes at me with that undeniable look that screams, “Oh dear God, why is my Mento a chick?” He practically kicked me out of his office when I told him that I was attending the midnight showing of the last Twilight film with a few of my gal pals (I swear it was their idea—I would never have offered up a midnight showing of one of those unintentionally hilarious movies). However, according to the Dude, the only times that a Dude will subject himself to watching an episode of Real Housewives of any given city is because he has one thing on the brain: getting into your pants. Apparently, Dudes will subject themselves to just about anything if they think they have a shot at getting laid. Unfortunately, once a Dude ~~is having sex on a regular basis~~ has secured a mate, you can expect to see his willingness to indulge in a Meg Ryan marathon severely diminished.

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Who didn’t like game time as a kid? There were so many classics: Chutes and Ladders, Candy Land, Monopoly, Sorry!, Trouble. It was so much fun to sit around a table with classmates or family members and battle to see who would be the crowned the winner. I secretly—well, maybe not so secretly—loved to be the one who had the last checker standing. Charlie Sheen was really on to something when he kept spouting off about “Winning!” during his meltdown. Though I’m sure his definition was quite different from having the best word score in Scrabble.

Board games have clear-cut rules and a concrete goal which, being a Type-A person, I love. Everyone operates under the same clear path with the same guidelines. No room for questions. Whether you’re trying to sink your opponent’s battleship or solve the murder of Mr. Boddy (or Dr. Black for those not in North America), there are certain steps you must take to get to get to the end of the game. Each game comes with directions that tell you how to set up the game, how to play, and how to win.

In the Game of LIFE, players spin the wheel and move to spaces that mark life events like graduation and marriage on their way to the Day of Reckoning where one could either end up at Millionaire Acres or the Poor Farm. Land on a 3, move your card forward three spaces. No more, no less. You will collect a spouse and you may or may not collect children—each noted as blue or pink colored pegs riding along in your car game piece.